Assalamu Alakum, may Allah Almighty teach us, benefit us from what he taught us, and increase our knowledge. My brothers and sisters, I ask Allah Almighty with the best of his names to keep us streadfast on his deen till the day we meet him. Ameen
So, what’s the halal way of approaching a girl you like, I wanted to bring this up to you, because for them you would think that you know, If the Sahabi saw a woman from a mile away, he went the other way and made Istegafaar the whole night.
Do This When You Like A Girl
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No, it wasn’t like that they interacted wit each other, they talked to each other, they worked with each other, they were in business partnerships. All kinds of interactions happen between men and women, but with principle it was respectful, it was dignified and when a companion, when somebody liked somebody else, You know what they did?
Here’s the Astagfirullah part, here’s what they did, Hey I like you, wanna get married and she’d say Umm, talk to my dad, he said okey. And then you go to the dad and say hey, I like your daughter and she’s I mean, I talk to her, she’s not entirely opposed to the idea is it cool, and he say’s let me talk to my daughter.
How this happened today in UK, as you go to a girl respectfully, we work together for three years, would you consider marrying me and she’s like 🙁 and maybe she says please don’t talk to my dad, he’ll get tired on me, because if you talk to my dad, he’ll say this is why you go to work, this is why we sent you to university.
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Calm down fathers it’s okey, somebody likes your daughter, that’s a good thing, now you’re going to investigate, find out, It’s compeletely fine. The only relationship (Rishta) mentioned in the Quran, the only approach mentioned in the Quran.
Is that of Musa (AS) in Madinah, he was by himself Musa was by himself and these girls were by themselves working outside, and he went up to them and help them out and the girl said, He’s kind of nice and she could she went back to her dad and said, Hire him which means come on dad, you know.
And that happened and the girl said, I like the guy, that’s actually what happened in the story of Musa (AS). Musa (AS) didn’t propose, the girl proposed. And the father cannot propose, unless he has the approval of his daughter.
So, it’s okey for your girl to say, dad there’s this guy this brother at the Emesaya, he is really good, you should come. Your daughter’s telling you something. It’s okey go attend the Halaqa. It’s okey find out, don’t complicate this, there’s nothing indignified about that, don’t go date a girl, now and don’t take go dinner. No, not that either but can you have respectful interaction with someone you’re interested in for marriage absolutely, nothing wrong with that.
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Can you take your time to understand and each other’s likes and dislikes, Yes it’s fine. Respectful courtship is okey with parental guidance in degnified fashion there’s nothing wrong with it.
So, what happens is, we have two extremes, we have people that are more conservative then the Sahaba, and then we have people that are more Liberal, than Liberals. Okay and the Islam is right in between, it’s a natural way, it’s a completely natural way. Okey?
So, this is something that I thought, it’s important to mention, for families and for yourself, talks to your daughters, ask if they like someone, don’t create a between fathers and daughters, there should be open communication, they should not be terrified to tell you that they’re interested in somebody, don’t force them to marry someone, they don’t want to.
Don’t force your daughter and tell them, if you don’t marry this one, sho’s gonna come and marry you, and you have to, we already said, yes to them. Don’t humiliate the family and say no, now.
Those kind of the nikah are haram, I will say it, the’re haram, we cannot emotionally and physchologically force a girl to get married under family pressure, that is Batil, and that happened at the time of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and the Prophet (SAW) considered those Nikahs batil.
They are invalid nikahs, until the girl genuinely likes a guy and says, yes: I want to marry him on her own from no pressure from her father, no pressure from her mother, no pressure from anybody else. She likes him and even if the days of the nikah she says, Mom, I don’t wanna do this, the mother doesn’t say too late girl, loo late.
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We’ve got the hall they’re all gonna look, what are people gonna know, if the girl says, I didn’t wanna do this and no stop. Allah Almighty gave her that right, you cannot take it away, you’re burying them alive, this is the new way of burying women alive by the way. They used to take the baby girl and bury her right then.
Now we bury them at the day of the Nikah. This is what we do, this needs to stop. Let them marry who they want, if they’re a dignified Muslims and because now you’re living in a different society. You won’t find someone from the same village it’s Okey.
You know Musa (AS) is an Arab or actually not an Arab, he’s from Israelities and he married an Arab. He went and married in Madiah. Didn’t he? So manny arabs are, we only marry arab. really? Musa (AS) was actually from Israel, what’s up with that you know.
So, it’s a time now, it’s a strange time that we live in and actually the only thing can save us is the basic principle of our deen and getting facilitate, making the path to marriage easy is actually one of the greatest battles against Shaitan. When we make the path to marriage difficults, when you have 28, 30, why would I have 35 year old boys not married.
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What do you think, they were doing tahajjud for 35 years? what planet do you live on, they didn’t do anything Haram. no evil throughts went in their head. They didn’t go to work, 28, 29 year olds not being married, this is ridiculous. It’s absolutely absurd, it’s unacceptable and we create standards that don’t exist in our religions and don’t make nay sence.
You have three daughters, four daughters for the younger daughter and no proposal came for the older daughters. No, no we go in order.
Who said you go in order, if there’s a good blessing that came to your home for whichever age, why would you deny it? What will people say? When Allah almighty says, when you explain yourself to him and say, I deprive my daughter of a good Nikah, because it wasn’t in order.
What will you say to Allah, you tell me that, what are you gonna do? Marriage needs to be made easy and the guy’s side, becasue hindu tradition says the guy is the gift. So the girl’s side has to give him gifts.
Last Words
Islam came and said, the man has to give what? “Mahar” the man has to give a gift, the women is a gift to the family and now we do in Pakistan, India, east, south. No, No we don’t want Jaheez. We don’t want gifts from the girl side, but there should be something, at least a Fridge, you know.
That is the opposite of what Allah commanded, that is the opposite of what Allah commanded, you’re not only disobeying Allah Almighty, you’re reversing what Allah said, Asking to pay to be gifted, because you’re the guy side that’s like way beyond Haraam, I don’t even know what the category that belongs to Shaitan, that giving you like 5 stars for that one. Don’t fall in that category.